[insert deep and profound intro post title here]

Hi there! It's probably time to update this, so here's a new sticky post with everything you need to know!

This is a fandom journal, mostly for fandom endeavors and very little else; it doesn't update often and there's rarely anything of interest to report, but I always welcome new friends and I love getting to know people! Feel free to friend and de-friend as you like; nothing here is f-locked, so go ahead and have at.

All my fanfic is at AO3; I'll attempt to link to new ones in the future, but I've got the memory of a gnat, honestly.

I'm just happy to have you here! ♥


AO3 || Tumblr || Dreamwidth

r/s games rec #2

I started typing this without realizing that tumblr recs now count towards the rec collection post! SO, I'll just be posting these over on my tumblr from now on; I think I've already got all of you over there? If not, I'm here and you should definitely come hang out with me; I post a lot of what is, in my opinion, indisputably quality gay content. ♥ Such as this:

an individual r/s games rec, as I’m home sick (again) and have just had my tender, unsuspecting heart bruised by an unfairly gorgeous fanfic (again):

We Build Our Own Unfolding

This is an incredible piece of writing, staggering in its beauty and limitless in its breadth and depth of emotion. The most flawless depiction of Sirius, jagged-edged and a bit muddled, sometimes, with himself and with adulthood, and full of so much brightness and love he doesn’t realize it’s sitting right there inside him; the shock of it as it begins to unfold comes almost like a surprise. Amazing dialogue, a thousand brilliant little details that’ll have you going back to re-read the whole thing immediately, unparalleled prose and language and characterization, a vividness of emotion that never lets go of you even for a minute, and two people who have become inextricably tangled up in each other over time: one of them only starting to understand, the other always acutely aware.

It’s a beautifully-crafted, moving gem of writing for so, so many reasons--the sort of thing that sticks with you forever. My sinuses are in bad shape today anyway, and this has left me sounding like I’ve been snorting wet cement. Just, go read it; this is a truly exceptional work.

r/s games recs #1

it's that time of year... the time of year when I rec things like a dutiful reader and try to find something to say that isn't just bleating in all caps; it's a real struggle. I'm also crampy and exhausted. Let's see if I can do this.


If This Life Isn’t Enough

A quiet, evocative fic centering on some of the most difficult periods in Sirius’s (and Remus’s) life; it’s the sort of thing that sneaks up on you and rips out your heart, just to put it back where it left it all over again. This is a beauty, with a brilliant (and heartbreaking!!!!!) glimpse into Sirius’s state of mind, told in brittle, beautiful shards of memory.


Really gorgeous art with a crisp autumnal feeling, featuring Remus volunteering for the first Wolfsbane trial. I love the way the page gets busier and busier as the narrative flows to its end; there’s a beautiful surreal quality to it–almost wistful–that really resonated with me.


This fic tore out my heart and stomped on it with steel-toed boots, and LET ME TELL YOU I have never been happier to be in so much agony! A non-magic AU set during WWII with Remus as a geographer and Sirius as a pilot; unbelievable language and prose, and a plot and politics so expertly intertwined it takes your breath away. This is such a remarkable piece of writing for so many reasons, with the intricacies and intersections of war and love and yearning and politics all wound around each other into something extraordinary.

Flying By Night

Adorable Hogwarts-era fic featuring a hugely besotted Sirius Black trying to analyze and vocalize his feelings for Remus, with some really sweet reflections on Remus Lupin’s finer qualities. I love the imagery in this, vivid and glittering and lush; the ending has a beautiful reflection on the nature of love that’s so, so apt.

a fic post!

HELLO! I said a while ago that I would try to keep this place updated with future writing, so here I am, making good on that promise! Have some (not entirely new) fic:

Grazed Knees, written for femmefest 2015! Ginny/Luna, 5,400 words of post-second war shifts and changes.

(An aside: femmefest is a great annual HP femslash exchange, and I had blast participating and getting to see all the AMAZING new works! If femslash floats any of your boats, I'd definitely recommend taking a look and maybe having a go at it next year--it's low-pressure and a lot of fun.)

And Leave the Children Behind, which I think everyone here has already read, but it's been slightly reworked since last year (mostly just changes/additions to dialogue, and fixes for a few parts I was unhappy with and didn't have time to revise before the deadline kicked my ass up between my eyeballs), though it's the same general story, all the same.




LOOK at these hotties! I'm an irredeemable loser, because I had no idea that I was actually nominated for, much less won, anything like this until huldrejenta pointed me in that direction today; this is what I get for not having paid any attention to, well, anything at all.

Thank you SO MUCH to the sweetheart and a half who nominated me and to the people who voted (also sweethearts)! I still haven't gotten around to replying to comments on that story (new goal for this week!), but every single one of them made me so happy, and I'm still stunned that people read it, and liked it, and even nominated it for something! What a wonderful surprise this was--you completely made my day, and I really can't thank you enough. Just--THANK YOU! ♥♥♥

Plus, now I can nominate/vote for things next round, now that I know this is a thing--exciting!

HP fandom isn't something I ever thought I'd end up involved with to this extent, but falling into it last year was definitely the best fandom-thing I did, bar none! It's such a cozy place; I've had so much fun and participated in so much more than I ever have before, and I've loved every moment--and not to mention I've met so many wonderful, talented, thoroughly lovely people over the past year! It's been an absolute blast. I'm always finding new things to love about the canon because of you guys, and your fanfic and art are always, without exception, 300%, grad-A, top-tier rad--I'm constantly blown away by how creative and enthusiastic and brilliant everyone here is. I can't wait to branch out even more and see lots of you guys this year! ♥

r/s rec post #6

My dog chewed through my laptop cord today (this is the second one, a friend gave me her spare last time), and I learned that these things are 1.) not especially easy to find, and 2.) REALLY EXPENSIVE!!!!!!!!! It was $65. I looked everywhere and that was seriously the cheapest universal laptop cord in the whole of central Illinois, where you can literally go buy a goat for less.

Do you have any idea how many bags of discount Halloween sour candy I could have bought with that money. Where is the justice??????????????


Lies, Truths, and Other Confessions
Rating: R
Warnings: Cursing, vaguely written sex, alcoholism, drug use, contemplations of suicide
Word Count: 4800
Summary: AU where Dumbledore defeats Voldemort early on in the first war and Sirius loses all sense of direction and purpose in life.
Why you need to read this: This is a canon-divergent AU where things are Definitely Not Okay for Sirius, and I love so much how the author doesn't discount his past or his problems here. He's so lost and so restless--reckless--that you just hurt for him, and his relationship with Remus is not only amazing, but it plants a seed of personal growth that shoots up and blooms. Gorgeous writing and characterization; I'm so in love with this, ohhhh my God.

Sense Memory
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Word Count: 1000
Summary: For a dozen years, there had been nothing to see, nothing to touch, nothing to remind him of the life that had once been his.
Why you need to read this: I love love love post-Azkaban Sirius, and I loved how the author describes the flood of his senses just after he's escaped. Sense is tied beautifully to his memory, to Remus in particular, and it's as beautiful as it is heartbreaking to see him remember how much he's lost and how much he still wants. MY HEART!!!

Love Kneazle
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Foul language, foul odors, silliness, and a little grossness
Word Count: 2650
Summary: Remus brews a desperate and dodgy potion.
Why you need to read this: I mean, I feel like the title alone ought to be enough to snag you, but at any rate this is hilarious and fun and also manages to be super sweet with a dash of poignant at the same time, which is incredible. I laughed. I laughed hard and I laughed loud and mostly I just really love these two idiots and the way the author tangled them together. ♥

r/s rec post #5

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! I hope you have yourself a blast and a half with all the spooky/sweet things your heart desires. ♥♥♥

I had a migraine for most of the day and I'm not sure how I managed to make it all the way through work, but I did it. Am feeling drained, but much better, at least. And I forgot to take my lavender inside last night and I'm pretty sure the frost did it in, my poor baby :((( RIP best lavender I ever planted, I will think on you fondly when I'm struggling with a new one next spring.


Shipwreck Against Your Eyes
Rating: PG
Warnings: secrets and miscommunication, these never bode well
Word Count: 2000
Summary: In September of 1981, Sirius and Remus visit the sea at Brighton in search of lost joy.
Why you need to read this: This is a beautiful, painful depiction of one of the last days (certainly one of the last good days) of their relationship, and you can just feel how far they've begun to drift even for as much as they still love each other. I loved the emphasis on how much everything has changed--even this place where they were so happy once, but their feelings really have not. Gorgeously written and touching in so, so many ways; it breaks your heart so quietly, all the way through.

The Effect of a Kiss
Rating: PG (kissing)
Warnings: none. canon maybe? if that's a warning
Summary: After his encounter with the dementor, almost losing his soul, Sirius is suffering some side-effects. He sends a message to Remus to come and help him. So, Remus does.
Why you need to fix your eyeballs upon this: Such a creative use of the prompt! A video that takes you through Remus helping Sirius through the strangeness and frustration of regaining so many of his senses, set on a gorgeous tropical coast with incredible art! It's poignant and sweet, and beautifully crafted.

Ocean Above & Sky Below
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: swearing, descriptions of food and eating, one kiss placed on a character while they are not awake and, thus, incapable of consenting
Word Count: 8000
Summary: Sirius, adrift and floundering at the advanced age of 23, rents out a mansion by the sea— as you do— in an effort to recapture his happiness. It works surprisingly well.
Why you need to read this: This is a beautifully written glimpse into what might have been if Sirius had been able to grow up and come into himself without the war getting in the way. He gathers his friends under one enormous roof for the summer and realizes how he's changed and how his feelings for Remus have, too. Their dynamic (and Sirius' fondness for giving him lavish gifts) is wonderful, and so are his relationships with his other friends and, notably, his family. Amazing in every sense.

Rating: PG
Warnings: A sad lack of bare bottoms on display.
Image Count: 53
Summary: They have begun to read the patterns in the sound of static.
Why you need to fix your eyeballs upon this: This is astounding, on absolutely every level. The art and the prose flow like poetry, and there's so much feeling in this that you can see it in every image and every word, and in all the things it inspires in you. I CRIED A WHOLE LOT, but I also smiled and laughed and, most of all, I felt how much love there is in this, how much pain and longing, and how tangled up these two are in each other, and will always be. "Incredible" doesn't even cover it, honestly; there is so much beauty in this, just so much. This will stick to you for a long, long time.

Four Four Time
Rating: G
Warnings: Gratuitous blushing
Image Count: 6
Summary: Schoolboys and choirboys
Why you need to fix your eyeballs upon this: I don't think it's possible for anything to be cuter than this??? There's so much blushing and so much sweetness, and Remus' little smiles are just the best. Guaranteed to make your day brighter!

r/s rec post #4

It's unseasonably warm today! Throwing my whole sense of proportion off, it is. I definitely didn't drag out my cold weather clothes for this. >:( UNCOOL.

Also! In the event that anyone follows these links, I wrote for this year's fandom-wide Femslash Exchange and it was a whole bundle of fun! It works similarly to Yuletide (except without the mess!), and it's a great way to see f/f fic and fanart you might not otherwise get much of in fandom; so, if you're into that at all, I'd really encourage you to give it a go next year! There were several Harry Potter fics, but I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who nominated/requested anything Tonks-centric and goodness knows I can never have enough Tonks femslash in my life, it's like that fruit you ALWAYS crave but is out of season for like eleven months out of the year. SO! Definitely check it out, if that's what floats your fancies.

ANYWAY. Hot stuff for hot babes, etc etc:

Love in a Mille-Feuille
Rating: T
Warnings: None.
Word Count: ~11500
Summary: As an ex-convict, Sirius finds it terribly difficult to find a job. Remus, a pastry chef in a semi-busy area of London just cannot resist taking in strays, especially not when they look like Sirius Black. So begins Sirius’s journey to find love with a delicious Mille Feuille in midst of flour, butter, an odd assortment of co-workers.
Why you need to read this: CUTE!!! And sweet, and funny, and delightful, and an all-around good time! This is a really creative AU that incorporates canon in a refreshing way, taking an original spin on established elements and mixing them with a whole lot of love. I've got a rule about eating after I've brushed my teeth for the night, and I violated it badly because I was craving something sweet and doughy within the first few hundred words.

I Scald Alone, Here, Under the Fire of a Great Moon
Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Graphic descriptions of wounds

Word Count: ~3500
Summary: The first year at war, trouble is on the way.
Why you need to read this: A brutal beginning to the first war, told with non-linear glimpses into the brutality and violence of it as Remus wants so badly to help the way his friends can. This one stings, and it's so easy to see the seeds of the shifts that will uproot them all as it gets worse and worse. I'm still shivering over the ending.

Brave the Storm
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Why you need to fix your eyeballs upon this: Every time I look at this, I swear, it makes me even happier. There's such a tight intimacy to all of this, just the two of them with music threading all the way through; I'd be hard pressed to say which image is my favorite, but there's something about them with their legs tangled together in the forest and Sirius' bare feet, just listening. The colors are so vibrant they pop off the panels and come alive in a way that's really, truly gorgeous.

r/s rec post #3

So, apropos of nothing at all, I bought a pumpkin (a REALLY RAD $5 PUMPKIN, it was the best in the batch!!!) the other day and made the mistake of leaving it out overnight, and now there are pumpkin guts all over the sidewalk, courtesy, presumably, of college students without enough papers to write or just high school kids looking to crush my jollies. They left my gourd family alone, at least.

Read these, you! (Yes, you, specifically!)

Dog of Darkness, Dog of Light
Rating: M
Warnings: light sexual content
Word Count: 4400
Summary: Sirius hates all institutions. Well, almost all.
Why you need to read this: An incredible Chritmas fic that truly captures the feeling of family and all the delightful bustle of the season! Sweet, with an edge; lovely characterizations and theme, a joy all the way through. Also I want Christmas candles now and I want them badly.

Or, a Portrait of the Mathematician as a Young Man
Rating: PG
Word Count: 12,000
Summary: Historical AU. The First War was already a memory. The Second War was the shadow growing on the horizon. Remus J. Lupin, a mathematics scholar at King’s College, Cambridge, had fallen in with a set of friends who called themselves The Marauders—and at its masthead the dissolute aristocratic heir, Lord Sirius Black.
Why you need to read this: One of the most unique things I've ever read, featuring history interwoven with fiction and then threaded through with HP characters. This captures the language of the novels of this time period as well as the history that goes along with them in a way that's brilliant and moving, and this Sirius is a beauty, gosh. Nine kinds of incredible.

Therapy (Fighting for a Wasted Love)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mentions of anti-werewolf prejudice, mental health issues
Word Count: 1525
Summary: Remus sits in the waiting room, and tries not to hear through the door. He wants to pretend Sirius has some kind of privacy.
Why you need to read this: Heartbreaking portrayal of Sirius fighting through some of the damage done to him, and Remus enduring, quietly, along the way. Achingly realistic, and beautiful, too, through the pain.

r/s rec post #2

more hot stuff for hot babes (I need to start doing this daily!):

Right From the Start
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: non-linear timeline, mild swearing
Word Count: 10635
Summary: In which the Marauders celebrate group bonding, and PoA!Remus reflects on the past.
Why you need to read this: Oh my God, I love this dearly; PoA/post-PoA-era Remus is secretly my favorite Remus, and this author's got the man's number. It's a non-linear timeline done beautifully, and the glimpses of Remus through the years are so achingly, brilliantly melancholy. There's so much love strung inside this that bubbles up all through the narrative, with the sweetest burst of joy there at the end. A wonderful premise with the most gorgeous, wistful language and a stunning Remus, just, WOW.

[Charlotte Brontë voice]: Reader, I wept.

Journey into the Land of the Rising Sun
Rating: PG
Warnings: None!
Word Count: 3053
Summary: You see, sute-ki means steak, and suteki means wonderful, and this pun is going to be very helpful when one travels to Japan. A story where part of the grand plan to woo Lily Evans involves visiting Japan.
Why you need to read this: What a bundle of fun! I love the way the author throws you into the setting--everything about this pops up and comes alive in the best ways, and the dialogue is absolute gold. I never stopped smiling, not even once.

Evenings, Mornings, Afternoons
Rating: R
Warnings: dangerously high caffeine content, drunken snogs, bad jokes
Word Count: 5600
Summary: Sirius is a librarian who doesn't read, Remus is a barista who prefers hot chocolate. At least they like each other. Eventually. Probably?
Why you need to read this: This is a wickedly clever coffee shop AU and, honestly, the sort of thing you read three times in a row just because it brightens your day that much. Incredible dialogue, gorgeous writing, sweetness with a jagged edge; essentially, amazing.

The Song of Forgetting, in C Minor
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: referenced light drug use, implied sexual situations, ambiguous ending
Word Count: 1500
Summary: The first memory comes out easy, two days later, slips from his temple into the jar like a fish being released into a bowl of water. Remus watches the silver strand loop and wrap around itself, settling into a shimmering knot.
Why you need to read this: WOW PAINFUL!!!!!! Remus, in the aftermath and doing his best to flush the good memories out of himself. Utterly gorgeous writing that will wring you out over and over; stunning, truly.

Shot Through the Heart
Rating: G
Warnings: none, unless sad is a warning
Medium: Marker / PS
Summary: There wasn't a body for Remus to bury, just a flash of light he kept seeing out of the corner of his eye.
Why you need to fix your eyeballs upon this: So, so painful, and I love the contrast of black and white here; the birds look like they're crumbling from the earth itself, and you can just feel Remus' grief. Beautifully done.